The Smell of Autumn
by Crimson1
Summary: My first YAOI fic! WOOHOO! Well...more shounen ai than yaoi, but it's still exciting. KenRan pairing, my favorite, and well worth the read. So, please do, and PLEASE REVIEW!


THE SMELL OF AUTUMN  
  
Brilliant sunshine poured through the glass windows of the Koneko, filling the humble flower shop with light. It was a cool, crisp afternoon; the first week of Autumn. Leaves of gold, crimson, and orange fluttered soundlessly to the ground. Once in a while, a gust of wind would throw a few up into the air, turning them over and over, until they finally danced their way down to the cracked cement sidewalk.  
  
"Urrrg!" a tall, annoyed blonde grumbled, glaring up at the cloudless sky. "I hate Fall!"  
  
"Only because it gives you more work, Youji-kun!" a smaller boy with large blue eyes giggled, walking past the blonde with a bundle of flowers in his delicate arms.  
  
"Shut up, Omi," Youji replied darkly, kicking the pile of leaves he'd just swept together. "Why don't _you_ ever have to clear the sidewalk?"  
  
"Because Omi is moving the displays inside," a sour dispositioned red-head answered, standing with his arms folded firmly across his chest as he stood regally in the doorway of the shop.  
  
"We're supposed to get the first frost tonight!" Omi added cheerfully.  
  
"Yippy," Youji sneered, sweeping his broom lazily over the leaf-covered ground.  
  
The red-head stepped from the doorway, approaching Youji assuredly. "We all have our duties, Youji," he scolded. "And lying around with a cigarette in your mouth _isn't_ one of yours,"  
  
"It's always worked for me...." Youji mumbled, but an unnerving glare from the stern-faced red-head changed his mind. "Alright, alright. I just hate this manual labor. How come Ken and the little princess always get to do deliveries?"  
  
"Don't call my sister that." the red-head growled, making Youji flinch. He sometimes forgot how protective their leader was of his treasured imoto.  
  
"You know I didn't mean anything by it, Aya," Youji mended, taking a step back from his angered friend. "But you have to admit, you _always_ let them make deliveries, and that's way easier than clearing away this endless stream of leaves,"  
  
Aya turned away from Youji abruptly, walking back towards the shop. "They asked to go together," he said simply.  
  
"Oooo," Omi grinned, picking up another bundle to bring inside. "You think they like each other, Youji-kun?"  
  
Aya froze mid-step, just inside the door as Omi said that, listening in on what they might say.  
  
"They do hang around each other alot..." Youji answered thoughtfully. "Always off in some corner talking, or going to that coffee shop across the street. Hmmm...I think you may be right, bishounen," he finished, tossing a sly grin at the younger man.  
  
Omi blushed, shuffling to the shop. "What do you think, Aya-kun?"  
  
The rigid red-head snapped around. "I think we have work to do," he stated sharply, and then disappeared inside.  
  
Omi stood stunned a moment at Aya's menacing tone. Not that Aya ever had a cheerful tone, but still...  
  
"Wonder what that was about..." Youji pondered aloud, stepping up behind Omi. "He sounded almost...jealous,"  
  
"Jealous of Ken spending time with Aya-chan?" Omi asked, looking up at the older blonde.  
  
Youji grinned. "More like the other way around,"  
  
If it was possible, Omi's large, blue eyes grew wider. "Aya's jealous of his sister spending time with Ken?! No way!"  
  
Youji burst out laughing at Omi's high-pitched disbelief, slapping him playfully on the back. "I forget how young you are..."  
  
Glaring with anger and confusion at Youji as the blonde returned to his dreaded sweeping, Omi's face grew redder than the carnations in his arms. "What's that supposed to mean?!"  
  
Youji didn't answer, but merely shook his head, continuing his work with a slight chuckle beneath his breath.  
  
"Youji-kun!"  
  
The blonde still didn't answer, but watched happily out of the corner of his eye as a furious Omi stomped back to the shop.  
  
---------  
  
"We're home, minna!" a bright, pixie voice called into the apartment above the Koneko.  
  
"We brought dinner!" a second, slightly more masculine voice added.  
  
The sun was beginning to set outside, tossing shades of pinks and purples across the sky. Having already closed the shop up for the day, the boys were anticipating a rare night off from their even rarer twilight occupation.  
  
As the two late-comers stepped into the living room, they caught sight of Youji sprawled out on the couch with an unlit cigarette hanging from his mouth. He wasn't allowed to smoke inside anymore after the burn marks he'd left on the couch a few months back, but his addiction demanded some form of satisfaction nearly every minute of the day. Omi was busily working at his computer, as always, completely absorbed in his work. And finally, there was a rather frightening-looking oniisan poised dangerously in the kitchen doorway.  
  
"Where have you been?" he demanded of the two. "You should have finished deliveries hours ago."  
  
The younger of the pair, a girl with violet-blue hair tied into two thick braids, stepped forward, a large smile planted on her face. "Don't be so finicky, Ran-niisan," she stated warmly. "All we did was go for a walk in the park."  
  
Ran grabbed his sister gently by the shoulders, speaking very close to her face. "You know how I worry, Aya. I need to know when you're going to be late. When I don't...I...I can't help thinking..."  
  
Aya's smile faded as she looked up into her brother's urgent, violet eyes. "Oh, Ranny-chan..." she began, her face flustered with guilt. "I didn't mean to make you worry. But you knew I was with Ken-kun. Didn't that reassure you?"  
  
Ran released his sister's shoulders on those words, staring past her at the eerily blank face of the still, silent boy behind her.  
  
(Ken...)  
  
"I...of course it did." Ran mumbled vaguely, unable to look away from those coffee-colored eyes a moment. "I just...I need you to let me know where you're going next time, so my imagination doesn't run away on me. Alright?" he finished, finally looking back down at his sister.  
  
"I promise I will, Ran-niisan," she smiled, standing on tip-toe to kiss her brother's pale cheek.  
  
"Aya?"  
  
Both purple and red-haired siblings turned at the sound of their semi- shared name being called.  
  
"We should set the food out before it gets too cold," Ken continued, gesturing to the bag in Aya's slender hand.  
  
The young girl smiled, stepping away from her brother to take Ken's arm with her free one. "You're right, Ken-kun. Come on."  
  
Ran watched as the two stepped past him towards the kitchen, disturbed by their closeness. Then, just inside the door, Ken stopped, turning to Aya abruptly. "I wanted to...thank you for today," the brunette stammered, his face flushing with color as he spoke. "I owe you so much..."  
  
"My pleasure, Ken-Ken," Aya cooed in reply, using the pet name few dared to utter. "Just follow through with your promise. Okay?"  
  
Ken nodded hesitantly, slowly turning his head away from Aya to look towards Ran. Once catching the red-head's eye though, he quickly turned away, sweeping Aya into the kitchen.  
  
Staring questioningly after them, Ran stood immobile a moment, curious and oddly angered by the hushed conversation he had just overheard. Eventually, he turned his head away from the kitchen door, catching as he moved his gaze over the room the swift movements of Omi and Youji's heads. The two had been listening intently all along, of course, but now appeared absorbed in their previous activities. They didn't fool him for a second, but right now, he couldn't care less.  
  
Ran turned on his heals, heading to his room, desperately trying to ignore the eyes that bore into the back of his head as he walked away.  
  
---------  
  
Sitting like a wax figure on his bed, Ran stared blindly forward, unable to focus his gaze. His mind was a broken clock, with the wheels and gears inside his head spinning out of control.  
  
Why did it bother him that Ken and Aya had grown so close? Why did he burn with fury every time his sister flashed her sweet smile at his fellow assassin? Why did his thoughts linger on that particular assassin more and more each day...?  
  
Knock. Knock.  
  
His brooding interrupted, Ran called to the door without turning his head. "What?" he growled, not meaning it to sound quite as menacing as it did.  
  
"Aren't you coming to dinner?" Aya's melodic voice answered from the other side.  
  
"I'm not hungry." he replied immediately, hoping she'd take the hint and go away.  
  
To his surprise, instead of leaving, she came right in, shutting the door soundlessly behind her. "What's bothering you, Ranny-chan? Are you still mad I didn't tell you I'd be late?"  
  
The stoic red-head sighed, knowing his sister's ever present persistence would win in the end if he wasn't truthful with her from the start. He never could keep anything from her. "It's not that, Aya." he stated gently, bowing his head. "I...I don't really understand what's wrong...it's so...frustrating..."  
  
Sitting down beside her brother on the bed, Aya slipped a delicate arm around his waste, pulling him against her. "You can tell me, Ran-niisan. I'm a pretty good listener, you know? I've had alot of practice with not being able to talk back."  
  
Ran suppressed a small smile, comfortingly laying his head on his sister's shoulder, "It's just...it bothers me how...how..." he tried, mustering courage to tell her. "I...don't like how you and Ken spend so much time together." he admitted.  
  
"I figured that," Aya replied. "You want us to be friends, just not...friends with potential."  
  
Ran lifted his head to look his sister in the eyes, "...exactly. I don't want to be over-protective, suffocating you. That's not it at all. For some reason--"  
  
"You don't want Ken to be with someone else." Aya finished.  
  
Ran pushed fearfully away from her at that, eyes wide as he fumbled for words. "I...I didn't say that...I mean...that's not what I mean...I..."  
  
The purple-haired girl burst out giggling at her brother's clumsy denial, causing Ran to glare at her angrily.  
  
"Why are you laughing?" he demanded. "I didn't say anything. I...urrrg! You don't understand!"  
  
"But I do understand!" Aya jumped in, smiling mischievously. "You're such a fool, you don't even realize what your own feelings are trying to tell you."  
  
Ran stared at her, unable to respond to his sister's blunt truth.  
  
"I know you better than you think I do," she went on. "And I know quite a bit about Ken-kun now, too. I bet you'd like to know what we talk about when we're off alone, wouldn't you?"  
  
Ran gave a curt nod without thinking, anxious to know how deep their relationship went.  
  
"First of all, Ken-kun and I aren't even remotely coupley, so you don't have to worry about that," Aya grinned, standing up from the bed. "Ken's been telling me about his feelings for someone else, actually. That he's too afraid to tell this person how he feels. And...I've been convincing him to fess up."  
  
"So...he's finally going to...tell this person he cares for them?" Ran inquired curiously.  
  
"I hope so,"  
  
"And...you know who this person is?"  
  
Aya's lovely grin widened. "Yep. It's the same person who secretly cares for him."  
  
Ran tensed. "I--"  
  
"Don't be afraid, Ran," Aya cut him off, walking suddenly towards the door. "You need some time to think, but don't go fooling yourself, okay?" She turned the doorknob, calling over her shoulder before stepping out of the room, "Listen to your heart, oniisan."  
  
Ran watched in disbelief as his sister disappeared. Could she be right? Was he really just lying to himself about his true feelings?  
  
---------  
  
All through dinner he had been thinking about the same thing. Hour after hour, the same tall and brooding figure would drift into his thoughts. Sitting beside his window now as the clock tick-tocked its way past dark, Ken still thought of his beloved, fellow assassin, struggling to overcome his fears. He was petrified that he wouldn't be able to keep his promise to dear Aya-chan. His promise to finally tell Ran how he felt. But...how could he? What if--?  
  
Knock. Knock.  
  
Too late.  
  
"Ken." a deep, commanding voice called through the door. "I need to speak with you."  
  
Ken sat frozen in place, staring at the door. That was Aya-kun's voice. Aya-kun...Ran...was outside his room...and he wanted to talk? Ran never wanted to talk.  
  
"Come in..." Ken called back, his heart beating up into his throat as his words left it. With the blood draining from his already paled face, Ken stared anxiously at Ran as the red-head entered.  
  
"Kombanwa, Ken. I'm sorry to bother you." Ran stated softly, closing the door behind him.  
  
Ken stood up from his seat by the window, stepping carefully towards the older boy. "I wasn't doing anything anyway. What did you want to talk about?"  
  
"Actually...it's about you and Aya."  
  
Ken's hopes deflated. "Me and Aya? What about us?"  
  
Walking swiftly past him to gaze out the window, Ran answered hesitantly, unable to look Ken in the eyes. "I...I was talking to her earlier about how...how I...don't like you spending so much time together."  
  
"What?"  
  
"The whole time I was leading up to tell her...that I didn't want her to see you anymore. You see--"  
  
"What gives you the RIGHT to do that?!"  
  
Ran nearly jumped at Ken's sudden, infuriated tone, spinning around to face the angered brunette.  
  
"How can you be so selfish you'd want to take away the friendship I have with Aya?!" Ken continued, stalking up very close to the stunned redhead. "What makes you think--"  
  
"Ken, please. Calm down. Let me--"  
  
"No!" Ken yelled, cutting Ran off. "You always do this! You can't see any of us as anything but murderers, and God forbid your darling imouto be friends with a killer! That's the reason, ne? I know it is."  
  
"Ken, no! Listen to me." Ran tried again, grabbing Ken's shoulders and whirling him around to pin him against the wall. "I was going to tell her that, but I--"  
  
"All you see yourself as is a monster..." Ken cut in once more, struggling to free himself from Ran's grip. "...and that's how you see me, too!"  
  
"Damnit, Ken! Stop being so hot-headed and listen to me!"  
  
"I should have known! I should have known you'd only--"  
  
Suddenly, Ken's words were cut off as a pair of soft, trembling lips pressed firmly against his, catching him completely off guard. His eyes shot open at first, frightened, not sure what to think. Ran was kissing him. Ran's lips were tenderly caressing his as he had always wanted them to, though he had been too afraid to act on the desire.  
  
Grasping this rare chance, Ken dared to deepen the kiss further, slipping his arms around Ran's waste to pull the red-head closer. But just then, Ran pulled away and stepped back.  
  
Ken felt dizzy from the unexpected release, swaying a moment as he stared at Ran in wonder. "Why...did you do that?" he asked breathlessly. "Why did you kiss me?"  
  
"I...I wanted..." Ran fumbled for words, stumbling backwards. "...to get you to shut up..."  
  
"Is that the only reason?"  
  
Ran looked into Ken's intense, chocolate eyes at a loss for words. He really wasn't sure why he had kissed him, he just felt he had to. Now, however, Ran felt trapped. "I...I need to go." the redhead stammered, backing towards the door.  
  
"Aya, wait!"  
  
"I'm sorry...I shouldn't have...I...I'm sorry..."  
  
With that, Ran sprinted from the room, a hurt and confused Ken left standing in the open doorway.  
  
---------  
  
"Aya! Have you seen Aya!" Ken cried into Omi's bewildered face, shaking the younger boy by the shoulders.  
  
Omi pointed a shaky hand towards the couch. "She's...right over there..." he mumbled, not understanding Ken's strange urgency.  
  
"Not Aya-chan! Ran! Where is he?!"  
  
"I...I..."  
  
"Ken-kun, what happened?" Aya-chan asked worriedly, coming up behind the two boys.  
  
Ken released Omi's shoulders, turning towards her. "He ran out on me! I can't find him anywhere!"  
  
"What?"  
  
Ken took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "He came to my room, said he needed to talk to me about something." the brunette began. "I misunderstood what he was trying to say, totally over-reacted, and he...he...kissed me...but then he took off, without a word of explanation!"  
  
Omi's jaw dropped open in shock. "What?!" the smaller boy exclaimed. "You mean you and Aya-kun..."  
  
"I knew it!" Youji cried from the kitchen doorway.  
  
"This is wonderful!" Aya grinned in addition.  
  
"Yes! No!" Ken exclaimed, trying to silence them. "I don't know! But it won't matter if I don't find him!"  
  
Silence filtered through the room at Ken's last words, the others looking to each other questioningly.  
  
Ken's face fell. "No one saw him leave?"  
  
"I saw him go," Youji admitted, stepping further into the room. "But he didn't say anything. He just left. I don't know where he--"  
  
"Our hill!" Aya cried suddenly.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Our hill!" she called again, grasping Ken's hands in hers. "The hill near our old house. Remember, Ken-Ken, I took you there the other day? I'm sure that's where he went. We used to go up there all the time when we were children."  
  
Ken's face lit up with hope. "I remember...I have to go find him!" he exclaimed, pulling from Aya's hold as he shot for the door.  
  
"Good luck, Ken-niisan!" Aya called after him, but he was already gone.  
  
---------  
  
The smell of Autumn is powerfully unique, especially after dark. There's the crisp, dry leaves, cracked and scattered on the ground, the cool, twilight wind stinging against your skin, and the stale remnants of memory, like a scent itself to be breathed in.  
  
Ran sat still and silent on the cool, damp grass of the hill from his childhood. His legs were pulled in tight against his chest as he stared out at the black sky and bright city lights that dulled the stars. He had hoped that by coming to this once treasured spot, with the unmistakable smell of the Fall season wafting around him, he would be able to clear his mind concerning what he had just done.  
  
Finally, after so long, he had been ready to own up to the truth, and he had run away.  
  
(How could I be so foolish...?) Ran thought bitterly. (Aya practically told me straight out that Ken cares for me. I even felt it myself when I...)  
  
"Damnit! Why did I run away?!"  
  
"That's what I'd like to know."  
  
Ran whirled around, practically toppling over.  
  
"If you were just afraid...I can understand." Ken continued, slowly sitting down a few feet from the speechless red-head. "But if it's because...you realized...I'm not what you want, then--"  
  
"No. It's not that." Ran interrupted. "It's not that at all. You were right before. I know it's foolish, but...I...I'm afraid."  
  
"Afraid of me? Of us...being together?" Ken asked timidly.  
  
Ran hung his head with a sad twitch at the corner of his mouth. "Afraid of you...realizing you don't really want me..."  
  
"Why would you think that?"  
  
"Because you _will_ realize that someday." Ran's voice answered sharply, bordering on anger. "No matter how much I may want it to...it wouldn't last. You're not a monster like me, Ken. You deserve so much out of life, but...I don't deserve anything. I don't deserve...you...as a friend, or anything else..."  
  
Ken stared at Ran as the red-haired assassin buried his face in his slender hands, growing silent, and felt a million emotions stirring up inside of him. Dull fear. Pain. Anger. "How can you see yourself as a monster if you don't see me as one, too?!"  
  
Ran lifted red-rimmed eyes at Ken's infuriated tone, a blank expression on his beautiful face.  
  
"I'm not going to sit here and try to explain away the things we've done," Ken went on. "But you are not a monster! All the people we've killed, we've killed for a reason, and it's nothing compared to how many we've saved. We're the same, can't you see that? We've committed the same acts, with the same blood on our hands, for the same reasons."  
  
"But--"  
  
"No buts!" Ken cried, standing furiously from the ground. "You think I'll walk away someday because you're such a beast, but you're not! You deserve just as much out of life as anyone! How can you not see what a wonderful person you are? Would a monster have a sister who cares for him as Aya-chan cares for you, even after knowing what we've done in the past? She loves you, Ran! _I_ love you!" Ken froze, his eyes widening in fear as he realized what he had just admitted.  
  
Ran stared up at him, just as stunned. "...what did you say...?" the red- head whispered.  
  
"I...I didn't..." Ken fumbled for words. "...I take it back...I didn't mean it...please don't freak out on me..."  
  
With an unreadable expression, Ran rose from the ground, walking soundlessly over to the panicked brunette. He moved his tear-stained eyes over Ken's face...and smiled...his rare, genuine smile.  
  
(He loves me...?) Ran thought in wonder. (If all the world shut me out, he'd still accept me for who I am, wouldn't he? Ken...)  
  
"Don't take it back..." Ran whispered, reaching out towards Ken's face. "Say it again...please...I've needed to hear it for so long..."  
  
Ken's features softened, and he shivered a little as Ran's cold hand brushed his cheek. "...I love you..." he breathed.  
  
Moving his hand to the back of Ken's neck, Ran daringly pulled the younger boy against him, feeling strong arms wrap tightly around his waist. "I...love you, too, Ken..." Ran breathed, his lips right beside Ken's ear. "I'm sorry it took me so long to realize how I felt."  
  
"Same here." Ken whispered back. "Thank God for Aya-chan's persistence." he added with a soft laugh.  
  
Ran pulled gently away from Ken, holding him by the shoulders in front of him. "The clever matchmaker," he smiled lightly. "I might never have said anything if she hadn't scolded me for being so dense."  
  
The young assassins stood frozen a moment, surrounded by the Autumn breeze carrying the echo of their unspoken laughter.  
  
Finally, Ken reached his arms up to grasp Ran's hands on his shoulders, wrapping them back around his neck to pull the red-head closer. "If I asked..." Ken began, grinning. "...would you kiss me like you did before?"  
  
Ran's violet eyes glowed. "I don't know. Ask..."  
  
Ken leaned in close, and whispered, "...kiss me..."  
  
And lips met under the brilliant moonlight, with that cool, welcoming breeze entwining fire and chocolate hair, and carrying with it the beautiful smell of Autumn.  
  
owari  
  
A/N: FEEDBACK! Please...? My first serious Weiss fic and first yaoi anything. (sigh) I hope you liked it.

Crimson


End file.
